I decided to look back and try to remember all that has happened in my life. I’ve had an exciting, varied, sometimes normal life. Much of the time. I want to get as much of it down on paper—or digital screen, as the case may be—while I still hold the memories in my head. I’ll admit, some memories may not hold true to what actually happened. But that’s how memories go.
I haven’t changed any names. Though, I use just first names to protect the innocent or make up a name where I couldn’t remember it. I’m also trying to be as honest as possible. I’m contemplating making two versions of this. One, for myself and my husband—who loves me no matter what, hopefully—and one I can share with others and not be afeared of recrimination and judgment. I am not proud of everything I’ve done in my life. I have regrets. But all of it has conspired to make me the man I am.
I often refer to other men as “boys.” So, when I’m talking about some of the guys I dated or had sex with and call them a boy, it is not to be taken literally. I sometimes use “girls” when ladies or women just doesn’t sound right. Time and place when you’re writing about what you remember.
I reached out to friends and asked them to look at parts of this to get feedback and to help fill in some blanks or correct things I had wrong. That is much appreciated. I’m thankful that so many photographs have survived to help me along on this journey. There were times when I was trying to place a person or time and thought I had a photo on that. And did. Or looking through old yearbooks.
One thing I’ve learned is that memories don’t always have nice tidy conclusions. They just are what they are, a person in time, a place in time. I’ve tried to stitch them together logically sometimes, but sometimes this narrative just moves on to another topic. Another memory. Apologies to friends who aren’t included or just in a very small way. There are so many I do remember and are still friends with, but I just have very few memories about our friendship way back when.
I start off with summaries of a couple of parts of my life that have been important for me, work and singing. There’s more detail woven in along the way.
This work as a whole is not for everyone. But if you’ve been a part of my life, there is probably at least one chapter you fit into and might enjoy reading. Thanks to everyone who’s been part of my life. I wouldn’t have much of a memoire without you!
I wouldn’t have much of a memoire without you!